I'm a dork...

I don't function well in the morning, but today I thought I was off on the right foot. I got out of bed and mangaed to start washing clothes, unloaded and reload the dishwasher and straightened up the living room before my coffee was finished brewing. I think something happened in those 15 minutes that threw me off for the remainder of the day.

Before work I had to go to Office Max for some office supplies. I begin to sweat before I even get out of my car. I am sure they are simply trying to be helpful, but my experience with Office Max has been nerving in the past.

There is one associate standing at the door to greet me. His job is to ask what I'm looking for and then to spout out each aisle that I should go down to find my list of items. At first I would try to dodge the question and say "no thank you I am just shopping". But they are persistant in trying to assist me with whatever I'm looking for.

Once I was shopping for some binders, and taking my time to think through each choice. Binders are important to me and I wanted to find the correct size, durability and color. Three different associates, including the one that greeted me at the door, asked if they could help me pick out the right binder. I allowed this to get under my skin. I wanted the decision to be my own (I like the control), and I did not really want a stranger's opinion.

I now stop and try to take the time to actually spout out my list for the greeter instead of just dodging them. For some reason it gets them off my back for a minute. I wonder if they have cameras or heat sensors that tell them where I am in the store so they can come check on me. Maybe I look like a criminal?

Today, like I said, I was nervous before getting out of the car. I took a deep breath and walked through both sets of automatic sliding doors. I eyed the associate that would be helping me. This sometimes helps me to get through the first steps if I keep them in view. Today, without thinking, I tried a combo. I was spouting my list, looking the associate directly in the eyes, and continued to walk into the store.

By the time he was point and stating the aisles that I should try, (by the way: I can not hear him at this point. With my high level of anxiety, he sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown)... Somehow I managed to walk right into one of the end of the aisle displays. The kind of display that has the long steel rods with all the stuff hanging on it. I can't really remember, but I think office supplies fell and I have marks on my arms from the steel rods jabbing me. I did not dare look at the associate and I think he was also in shock. I just turned and went the oppisite way hoping to make it to the stationary before knocking anything else down.

When I came to check out, I think he was trying not to laugh. So he said, "that was quick". I explained to him how I get nervous before coming in. He said he would try to remember my face and not bother me next time I come in.

Normally I order office supplies on line and have them delivered.